Sunday, January 16, 2005
Feeling Sorry For My Fucking Self
Well after my nice short peaceful weekend it is fixna' all come to an end. I have enjoyed my peace and quiet. The hellion children shall be home soon to ruin it all. I miss my husband but I hate to say I don't miss the step kids. I am a mean ole' bitch I know. I spend most of my time thinking about how our lives would have been if we wouldn't have had to fight for custody of them. We won and got them out of the terrible situation they were in with their mother but boy would my life have been different right now. We got custody about 1 WEEK before we got married and life has been chaos every since. We used to go out to dinner every night and go to the grocery store together and corny shit like that. I am so glad we had the first couple of years alone without kids (except on weekends). I long for that time again but I guess it will be about 18 years before I get it again.I am feeling sorry for myself aren't I. Fuck that. We will make it but boy is it hard some days. I guess I just want all my husband attention for myself and McKenna. I am selfish I know. I knew he had these kids when I married him but lord sometimes I wonder how I haven't ended up in the cooko ward. It has been tough, so tough at times that I didn't think I could do it one more day. Trying to love and take care of children that are not yours and that don't understand why their mother never comes around and why they haven't seen her in 2 years is a hard pill to swallow.
But believe this, Monty and I count the days where we will be alone once again. We are going to buy the fattest camper in the world and go wherever the fuck we want. I dream about that day. But I also know that when the days comes for them to walk out the door I will be sadder than I could ever imagine.
How about you? Please share your story if you have step kids or are in a similar situation. Please tell me I am not crazy for having these feelings.
5 Comments:
-
commented at 4:34 PM~
I think you and I are going to best friends.
FIVE...FIVE kids in my house. This is the same house that was once my quiet haven when my ex husband took the girls for the weekend and on Wednesdays.
It's horrible now. It's SO fucking loud ALL THE TIME. 4 girls.. Two 11 year old girls that have a love hate relationship. You NEVER know which minute they like each other. I can't get pissed at my daughter more than his daughter because my daughter sees it and thinks I am picking favorites. TWO little girls (mine) that aren't hellions, but are SO DAMN LOUD! and they fight with the boyfriends girl AND my daughter.
Tyler who doesn't have a room (yeah, like where am I going to put him???) who is on Xbox ALL THE DAMN TIME and eating me out of house and home.
They are all good kids, not mean or cruel...but LOUD. LOUD in ways that I can't begin to explain. Loud like I need to go back to work to get some peace and quiet.
And don't me get started on his exwife. I could go for fucking DAYS on the horror.
Yeah sweetie, we will be best friends. I can just feel it.
Pass me some Captain Morgan please.-
Random and Odd commented at 4:35 PM~
and I am the anonymous person that just posted. I'm a geek.
-
Pissy Britches commented at 8:50 AM~
Ok. I seriously feel better now. 5 KIDS? WTF? To me 3 is the ultimate HELL. How do you do it? How and the hell do you do it? I seriously would be mental.
-
Pissy Britches commented at 3:00 PM~
Are you freaking kidding me? That age range is INSANE! Are you sure you aren't in a mental ward? Is there a "Too Many Kids" support group? I need to find that shit. Except, mine needs to be "Too Many Kids that AREN'T MINE" group.
-
Pissy Britches commented at 10:34 AM~
I agree. It would be a nice vacation. Hell, any vacation at this point would be nice.
Want to Post a Comment?