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Wednesday, February 09, 2005

My Big Fucking Mouth

This one is nice folks..one of those good ole' fashion stick your fucking foot in your mouth and gag on it till you choke to death stories.

As you all know by now we have a lot of problems out of my 12 year old stepdaughter Ashtin. She has been grounded most of the school year this year because she doesn't seem to care if she passes the 6th grade. Well a few weeks ago she ask if she could have this really smart girl named Danielle tutor her one day a week. And the rest of the story goes like this...(Warning, there are all CAPS in this to help get my point across)

Me: (Hearing Ashtin talking in her room, wonder to myself who is she talking to..door is shut...)
Me: (in room next door to Ashtin room changing shitty diaper of my child) Very loudly I yell ASHTIN, WHO are you talking to in there?
Ashtin: My friend Danielle..
Me: (yelling very loudly) ASHTIN, YOU KNOW YOUR ASS ISN'T SUPPOSE TO BE ON THE DAMN PHONE, BRING THE PHONE TO ME ASTIN, BRING IT HERE NOW..YOU ARE GROUNDED
Ashtin: (opens her door, comes out) I am not talking on the phone...my friend Danielle is here to tutor me.
Me: (thinking to myself) What did you just say? There is someone in my house and I just yelled and screamed and went crazy and they heard me. FUCK FUCK FUCK.
Danielle then walks out of the bedroom with a look of terror on her face, promptly calls her mother to come get her and get the hell out of our our psycho house.

I was so fucking embarrassed. My husband knew she was there and forgot to tell me people! FORGOT to tell me that some strange kid was in my house. Just more proof that I need to just keep my fucking hole shut!

link | posted by Pissy Britches at Wednesday, February 09, 2005

3 Comments:

Blogger Pissy Britches commented at 10:33 AM~  

Oh, thank god..I am not the only one who has ever done this. I never remember my parents doing this to me..even though I didn't bring kids over because they wouldn't let me..Assholes. That is probably what is wrong with me. I was always the one being sent away to my friends houses.

Blogger evilness commented at 2:26 PM~  

LMAO.. that is so fucking funny. Really made my day!!

I wouldn't worry too much about it.. if that kid hasn't heard the "F" word by now then she's too fucking sheltered.

Blogger Pissy Britches commented at 3:35 PM~  

I agree..I mean who hasn't heard the word fucking! I heard it all the time as a child and it didn't kill me. FUCK FUCK FUCK!

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