Thursday, February 17, 2005
She Hit Me!
I am feeling like total shit right now.Maybe those of you with kids will be understanding..hopefully those of you without kids will also be understanding.
If not you can bite my ass.
I feel like all I do is be a mean ass to my little girl. She is 18 months and I adore her. I work full time and she is in a daycare that she loves. When I pick her up everyday she is usually so fucking exhausted from being such a busy body all day that she is ill for the 2 or 3 hours I do get to spend with her. She used to sleep on the way home since we have an hour drive on the way home, oh hell naw..not anymore. She dropped that last little afternoon nap about 3 weeks ago. Anyways, I feel like all I do is tell her "No" and redirect her all the time. She is a toddler and I guess this is normal behavior but I have no fucking idea b/c she is my first little one.
Tonight after dinner which she acted like a total ass all through..I was cleaning her up and she gets pissed when I wipe her face so she actually whipped that little hand up and hit me. I was so pissed off that I slapped her hand and told her "NO"..
God, I feel like the shittiest mom in the world right now. She cried so hard that she couldn't catch her breath. I think I broke her heart and in the process I broke mine.
Again, I guess I won't be receiving that award for best mommy of the year. I need to get a grip.
Being a mommy is hard.
5 Comments:
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dashababy commented at 12:46 AM~
Awwwwe, dont be so hard on yourself. Sometimes we just react instinctively without thinking it through. I remember when my little guy was in a walker, he was about the same age as yours. I was at the sink washing dishes or something and he rolled up on me and bit the inside of my leg! So, I smacked him right in the face mostly because it surprised and it was just pure reaction. I felt so so bad. Oh he cried. I felt rotten but he never bit me again.
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commented at 9:00 AM~
Dashababy's right - don't be so hard on yourself. I imagine that being a married working mother of a toddler and step-mother to two others (they're teens or pre-teens, right?) is exhausting, grueling, arduous, fatiguing . . . and that's on good days!
It probably doesn't help to know this, but you'll likely be telling her "no" and "redirecting her" a lot more than you like for several more months. At least you 'redirect' her rather than smack her. My ex would spank my daughter really hard for the least of offenses, so don't worry, I'm guessing you're in the top 10% of moms.
One more thing: I used to think I was the worst mom in the world, but now I'm the proud mum of an Ivy League graduate who now lives on the east coast and makes more than I do ...-
Pissy Britches commented at 10:04 AM~
Ok. I feel better now. She didn't seem to remember that I slapped her hand this morning. She was as cheerful as could be. I think she fhas forgiven me. HAHA! I redirect her more than anything but I also believe in spanking b/c I got my ass whipped and it straightened me out. I will probably cry harder than her when I spank her. Maybe I can just make her daddy do it. haha.
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Tina commented at 5:58 PM~
I agree with dashababy, think of it this way, If you had not done what you did she would think it was ok. Then what happens when she hits a bigger kid and they kick her but?
(I know I am a mom, you would kick their ass all over the place.) But she has to learn.
We all still love you.-
Pissy Britches commented at 8:11 PM~
Good, I am glad you still love me..I still love yall too! Thanks for being supportive and not calling me a child abuser!
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