Monday, March 14, 2005
20 Reasons Why I Am Pissy..
This is not a rant..Just a little release..A little THERAPY as I like to call it.These are some good and bad things about my life that I wanted to share with you, just because..I fucking felt like it!
1. My kid is always sick. Not just occasionally, all the time. It sucks.
2. I have a job in Sales..WTF? I hate SALES. This is my first Sales job and although I sit on my ass all day and call leads that are handed to me I have some how managed to do it for close to 3 years and have been pretty successful at it. Again, WTF?
3. My dad is gay. He is only 45 years old and I am a total FAG HAG. I love it and I love him.
4. My mother committed suicide almost 10 years ago. I was 18. It was totally unexpected and we never saw it coming. She was only 34 years old and had everything to live for. This is the worst day of my life. I still haven't dealt with this..I am just angry, really angry at her for missing the birth of her one and only grandchild. I was and still am devastated. I don't know how I will explain to her why she doesn't have a Grandma.
5. However, don't feel sorry for me. My dad is GAY once again and has done the most wonderful job ever of being both a mom and a dad. I adore him and we are so close it is pathetic.
6. My first marriage was my high school sweetheart and his name was Brandon. He was the nicest boy (not man) that I have ever met. He worshiped the ground I walk on which is a huge problem for me because I ran all over him. We lost touch and plus he sucked in bed. I mean SUCKED in bed. To the point of I would cry when we had sex. NOT FUN.
7. Did I mention the sex sucked? Yes, so bad that one time before we decided to split up we didn't have sex for 6 months.
8. I met Mr. Pissy while I was still married to Brandon. I left Brandon a week later. I packed my shit and left with only my clothes and my car. Mr. Pissy was also married at the time but in the process of divorce. I still feel ashamed that we met this way even though I adore him and am happier than I have ever been in my life. He keeps me in line believe it or not. And no he doesn't beat me. I would kill him in his sleep.
9. I didn't go to school with African American's until I was in the 10th grade. Not because I am racist..I AM NOT. The town I lived in was called White Bluff and no black people would live there. Imagine that.
10. My dad never ask me to go to college or get a Masters degree. In fact I only have a high school diploma. The only thing he ever ask of me was to graduate high school, stay off drugs and not get pregnant and ruin my life. Not high expectations I know but hell it worked. Every single person I work with has a degree except me and I make just as much $$ as them. I am very proud of this..not cocky..just proud.
11. Yet when I was 27 he told me he thought he might die before I had kids. He was getting very impatient with me. WTF?
12. My step kids are 14 and 12. My step daughter has HUGE behavior issues and my step son is a normal kid. I love them dearly but I sometimes wish there mother was around to take care of them so I wouldn't feel so much pressure.
13. Their mother is a crack whore. Literally a crack whore. Addicted to crack so bad that she doesn't work, function, etc. She sells her ass for sex. When Mr. Pissy divorced her she lost her mind and started selling crack out of the house and sending these poor kids to school in shorts when it was 20 degrees outside.
14. In order to take custody we had to "kidnap" them. We hid out at Mr. Pissy's sisters house for a couple of days until we could get a restraining order and temporary custody order.
15. We also had to have the principal of their school, the Electric Department, Water Department & Phone Company testify at the custody hearing. She could not pay the bills even though we were paying her house note and giving her 800 bucks a month. Even though she was a SAHM (shit ass ho motherfucker as dooce says) her entire life she couldn't find it in her to get a job after he left. Selling drugs and letting multiple people move in the house and kicking her kids out of their beds so her drug friend could have a place to sleep is what she did.
16. They have not seen her in almost 2 years. She writes occasionally but is in jail most of the time. If my step daughter could, she would move in with her today. They were VERY close.
17. Mr. Pissy quit school in 8th grade, got his GED. When he turned 18 he enrolled in the USCG. He says he was a total shithead loser before he went in the military. He swears it changed his life. He has lived all over the country. He is now an Engineer for a phone company & is seriously the smartest person I know.
18. We currently live in the house that his ex wife was selling crack out of. Yes, the house that they bought together 10 years ago when I was graduating high school..they were buying this house. I hate living here but it was my idea to move back and rip out everything and remodel so the kids could be back in the school they had always known.
19. Now I beg my husband everyday to move. He hates it when I bitch about this b/c it was my idea to move here.
20. Anything else I could share..OH YEH, there is a lot more but I will save you from more pain and shut up.
My life is weird as shit. I guess everyone's is but for some reason mine seems really fucked up. AHHH...I feel better...how about you???
9 Comments:
-
Random and Odd commented at 12:33 AM~
10 Reasons to NOT be Pissy:
1. Your dad is gay. How trend-setting is that?
2.Your daugther will have her mother for years to come.
3. It might not seem like it now, but your step-children will look back and see how much you did give.
4. Mr. Pissy loves you. He loves your SALES ass.
5. You have a house. You have a reformed crack house. How trendy is that?
6. You make me smile everyday.
7. You make my sister smile everyday when you comment on her blog.
8. My mom said tonight, "Oh that Stephanie, she seems like such a great person!"
9. WE LIKE YOU, WE REALLY REALLY LIKE YOU!
10. You have us. We won't judge you and we will keep coming as long as you keep writing.
(anyone else have any more?)-
Shelli commented at 1:55 PM~
You rock!! girl you rock!! keep on keepin on and rock on!
I just have to say...even if you get all pissy and bitchy and stuff, that i don't think anything could ever or should ever take away the fact that your step-d would want to live or love her mother. I think she has memories she choses to love and keep sacred to her and no matter what type of person her mom is now, no one can take those memories away. In the interim i think you are doing a spledid (did i just use that fucken word??? OMG) job pushing her along in the right direction, showing her the girlie girl ropes of life...and let her make her own mistakes. She will learn what people are all about when she is older, and unfortunately a lot of hurt will come with those lessons, much like my daughter and her father, whom, might i add, is also gay! or so i heard! or maybe he is just someone's bitch, i dunno. but go figure!! don't give up on that girl.
omg yes and what kristen said...ain't she so lovely at making postitives out of everything! damn you bitch!! lol
and shawn made a funny, hee hee...SALES! HAA! crackerassforsale! 2 dollah make u hollah!
whoot whoot!
bitch on!!!-
commented at 3:02 PM~
Hey, I like your pissiness because it's fucking honest. Thanks to you, I feel so comfortable saying fuck whenever the fuck I fucking feel like it :D
And it's horrible that your mother didn't know what a selfish thing she did when you were 18. She's gone and left you with the fucking aftermath for the rest of your life. Gave you no choice in the matter. Unfuckingfair. I can say that because I tried twice (mi hija bonita doesn't know), and the second time, the doctor told me to consider that it's a miracle I lived and that I must be here for a reason. So I dropped the idea and decided that life is at least interesting enough to see what happens next. My daughter graduated from an Ivy League school, got a great job,has her own place, her boyfriend is absolutely awesome and they're talking about marriage . . . see what all I would have missed, and she's only getting started! Also, her father refuses to encourage her or give her credit for what a genius she is. It's a good thing I'm still here to tell her what an awesome person she is, since she has an ass for a father (but that's my fault - lol). No matter how much my love life might suck or that I'm filing bankruptcy or whatever, I'm sticking around so I can see what happens and I know my daughter won't go through what you go through.
As for your gay dad - how cool. And he's close to my age. I'm a total faghag in downtown Indy, and I hang with lots of sweeties in all the cool gay bars because they're all crawling distance from my place. So if he finds himself in Indy . . . I'll show him where all the cool places are. He'll love it!
And as for finding the love of your life while entangled with the wrong man, at least you eventually found Mr. Pissy! I suppose there were whispers and evil looks, but fuck those people. They don't know you, and they're probably just fucking jealous because they're staying in fucking rotten relationships where the sex is bad.
I understand bad sex, too. My second ex - ewwwwwwww. It was just plain awful.
I'm amazed that you're 28 and have stepkids ages 12 and 14 - you're stronger than I am, chica. And you have a toddler who keeps getting germs. Luckily for me, those are vague memories. I don't know how you deal with it.
Actually, you could play the victim in all this, since a lot of awful things have happened that were way beyond your control, but I don't see any victim mentality in your blog. You have your moments (like, who doesn't?), but you rant and you rave and you say fuck it all and then you get over it and get on with it. I wish more people did that. I know when I was 28 I wasn't as mature as you are (but I'm not sure if that's really a compliment - lol).
So now that I've posted my very own post on /your/ blog, I'll just say, "piss on Mrs. Pissy Britches!" I wouldn't like you if you didn't :D-
commented at 5:58 PM~
WOW! Yeah for you for beginning to clean out your closet!
1-Kids are always sick cause they pick their noses, their butts, eat candy they find on the floor...that's just part of the wonderfulness of being mom-dealing with sicky babies.
2-Your job sucks? My job sucks. But it pays the bills. Bonus for you making mad cash. People who are at the top of their game to me earn it the hard way-sweat and bustin their asses-I can only assume you've done both.
3-Your dad is gay? I love gay people. I mean, I have so many friends who are leading alternative lifestyles-they're so happy-happy=gay?! LOL!
4-I'm very sorry your mom left ya when you yourself were only a kid. And even though it really doesn't help or matter-I feel sorry for your mom-it's a terrible feeling being overwhelmed by what life throws atcha. *big hug for you* They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger--I can only imagine how strong of a woman you are and the experiences of what you've gone through losing your mom will only make the relationship you have with your sicky baby stronger.
5-Yeah!! for you finding someone who treats you so good and that you love so much in a world that's full of hate.
Everyone has a story to tell-thanks for sharing yours with me everytime I read your blog.-
Pissy Britches commented at 8:20 AM~
GAWD DAMN!
I could not post comments all day yesterday!
It is really pissing me off!
Thank you guys for all your support and nice stuff that you said! I typed up this big long thingy comment to all of you last night but it would never let me post it so I said fuck it and turned the computer off!
I luv you guys!
You are all fucking great!-
Pissy Britches commented at 10:53 AM~
HDL- I always forget about this. Kristine has said something about it to me before. I will go home and fuck my hair all up and take a pic for you. I don't know why you would want to see my fat ass but whatever.
-
commented at 11:06 AM~
Goodness....how am I? am I fine Thanks :) In debt...but fine...
-
commented at 11:48 AM~
Wow I have another member added to my family... I too say like all that has commented on your blog YOU Rock... and if you were here with me now I would put my arms aroung you with a great big hug and a kiss on you forehead and say Welcome my Sweet.... Thank you to for excepting me into your world..
Love Mom 'The Fonz'.....
Sheeesh!.. Kristing made me my own blog. but forgot my password-
Pissy Britches commented at 1:15 PM~
Oh well then, fuck it.
If I can't show my ass hair then I refuse to participate.
:)
I don't have ass hair anyways. That is kinda gross.
Want to Post a Comment?