Thursday, June 02, 2005
Almost Back...
Well, I am back to bore you to death with another post minus any pictures. My computer is fixed but I have to load my Kodak software, Internet stuff and all that other shit back on it before it will be ready to put out to all my bitches again.I just had a strange thought after going to visit NML. Since I have already been on the subject of the ex husband. GUESS THE FUCK WHAT I just remembered. Yesterday, June 1st would have been our 10 year anniversary. How fucking crazy is that. 10 fucking years. Can you imagine how bad I would hate his penis and jiggly mole after 10 years. I would have run off and became a fucking NUN. It is really hard for me to believe I could have stayed in a marriage where I was so unhappy just because everyone else thought it was the right thing for me to do. You know you don't get DEE VORCED as HDL says around here without burning your ass in eternal HELL. Although I would never ever want to get DEE VORCED again because I am very happy with Mr. Pissy..boy I am so glad I did it with Swifty Pecker. I have just been so excited with myself for this whole week since I saw him because I thought for SOOO long that I would regret leaving him. I just knew I would end up crawling back to him begging for him to grace me with his penis or something. BLAH.
Can we just forget I said that. Anyway, I NEVER DID and I NEVER WANTED TO. So woo fucking hoo hah for me. Maybe, just maybe I am not as weak as I have always thought I am.
I have a lot of freinds that are in kind of the same situation that I was in with Mr. Swifty and I feel their pain so bad. It amazes me how many people I know that will stay married to someone even though they cheat and lie and even have issues like I did where they just think the person is GROSS as FUCK. I just don't get it. Guess it is really none of my fucking business.
Happy Thursdeeey..
15 Comments:
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Jessica commented at 11:09 AM~
Right on! i like that expression, gross as fuck. i'll be sure to use it in a least one of my coversations today. Did i mention how much i hate liars and sneaky men? Men don't have to be physically unattractive to be gross as fuck. They can be ugly on the inside.
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Shelli commented at 12:58 PM~
Ugh you are so right, so many people in that predicament and it sucks..... we bitches are way too good for any of them maggots...
oh, btw, welcome the fuck back, bitch!!
Sissy and I cannot find fucking toe socks ANYPLACE!!!-
Charlotte in Pa commented at 1:16 PM~
Men. Can't live with 'em.. that's why I'm a lesbian. :-) Back when I dated men, my first serious boyfriend's penis was so small that my friends and I made fun of him behind his back. We called him MMP (millimeter peter) or HHI (hairless half-inch) The guy never knew why. And yet, for some reason, I stayed. By the way, I'm experiencing a lack of toe socks, too. ACK!
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Pissy Britches commented at 1:23 PM~
For the toe socks...
Go to EBAY! Type in toe socks and tons of them will come up.
I found mine at Wal Mart!-
evilness commented at 2:04 PM~
cuz I'm not as strong as you
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Pissy Britches commented at 2:13 PM~
Aww..now yall make me feel bad. I just want EVERYONE to be HAPPY!
I am not strong so don't get that impression.
I LUV YOU GUYS!-
Elizabeth commented at 3:10 PM~
Swifty Pecker.....that made me laugh so hard that, yes, once again, Diet Coke came out of my nose and onto the monitor.
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commented at 3:46 PM~
Mr. Swifty Pecker...hilarious!
After my first divorce, I was with someone whose digit was only as long as my pinkie finger. Suddenly, uncontrollably, I was starting to laugh. I was trying to stop, but the more I tried, the more noise I made. So I put my head down in my hands did my best to sound like I was crying, rubbed my eyes so my mascara would run, and he really thought I was sobbing when I said, “I’m sorry. I can’t. It’s just too soon after my divorce.” I’d been divorced for over a fucking year and had fucked a couple guys, but I had to act like I was still carrying a torch for my ex because I would have died laughing trying to fuck Mr. Pinkie Pecker.
There are some asswholes who think a bad sexual experience with a guy is what makes a woman become a lesbian. If that were true, all we bitches would be lesbians.
btw, what's a toe sock?-
commented at 3:46 PM~
Mr. Swifty Pecker...hilarious!
After my first divorce, I was with someone whose digit was only as long as my pinkie finger. Suddenly, uncontrollably, I was starting to laugh. I was trying to stop, but the more I tried, the more noise I made. So I put my head down in my hands did my best to sound like I was crying, rubbed my eyes so my mascara would run, and he really thought I was sobbing when I said, “I’m sorry. I can’t. It’s just too soon after my divorce.” I’d been divorced for over a fucking year and had fucked a couple guys, but I had to act like I was still carrying a torch for my ex because I would have died laughing trying to fuck Mr. Pinkie Pecker.
There are some asswholes who think a bad sexual experience with a guy is what makes a woman become a lesbian. If that were true, all we bitches would be lesbians.-
commented at 3:49 PM~
Mr. Swifty Pecker...hilarious!
After my first divorce, I was with someone whose digit was only as long as my pinkie finger. Suddenly, uncontrollably, I was starting to laugh. I was trying to stop, but the more I tried, the more noise I made. So I put my head down in my hands did my best to sound like I was crying, rubbed my eyes so my mascara would run, and he really thought I was sobbing when I said, “I’m sorry. I can’t. It’s just too soon after my divorce.” I’d been divorced for over a fucking year and had fucked a couple guys, but I had to act like I was still carrying a torch for my ex because I would have died laughing trying to fuck Mr. Pinkie Pecker.
There are some asswholes who think a bad sexual experience with a guy is what makes a woman become a lesbian. If that were true, all we bitches would be lesbians.-
commented at 5:02 PM~
Mr. Swifty Pecker...hilarious!
After my first divorce, I was with someone whose digit was only as long as my pinkie finger. Suddenly, uncontrollably, I was starting to laugh. I was trying to stop, but the more I tried, the more noise I made. So I put my head down in my hands did my best to sound like I was crying, rubbed my eyes so my mascara would run, and he really thought I was sobbing when I said, “I’m sorry. I can’t. It’s just too soon after my divorce.” I’d been divorced for over a fucking year and had fucked a couple guys, but I had to act like I was still carrying a torch for my ex because I would have died laughing trying to fuck Mr. Pinkie Pecker.
There are some asswholes who think a bad sexual experience with a guy is what makes a woman become a lesbian. If that were true, all we bitches would be lesbians.-
Charlotte in Pa commented at 8:43 PM~
Mr. Pinkie Pecker. HA! That's very funny. Kathy Griffin does this about how she's with this guy messing around, and just before they're about to do the deed he says, "I just want you to know - I'm REALLY tiny." She's like, "I didn't know what to do. What do you say at a time like that? So I said, 'Stick 'er in... we'll see how she flies.' " Cracked me up. I still say it occasionally... and no one else knows why it's funny to me.
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NML/Natalie commented at 7:57 AM~
Loving the fact that I had a mention in your post! 'Can you imagine how bad I would hate his penis and jiggly mole after 10 years' - cracking up laughing here. Yes I can imagine because my tummy did a big lurch at the thought. I'm the type of person that when I see things like a jiggly mole (thank fuck I haven't) I can't help but focus on it. Ugh! I would personally come and beat your ass if you were still with him. When one of my ex's took his pants off for the first time, I put my head under the cover and tried not to howl with laughter. We went out for 2 years. We all do some fucked up shit, but at least we get some sense and run like the fucking wind!
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Pissy Britches commented at 8:28 AM~
You bitches rock. You totally get it! He was fucking GROSSER than GROSS.
I guess that is why I cheated on him with my current fine husband.
I am a fucking home wrecker.-
Shelli commented at 3:08 PM~
Btw, found my toe socks at target, before i read these comments..but thanks for the ideas.....
Toe socks, for little sister, toe socks are a pair of socks that have separate spots for the toes, like gloves...
a fucking jiggly mole?? omg i would never enjoy sex if i had to stare at/think of/feel that freaking nastee thing...
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