Sunday, August 14, 2005
Thank YOU up THERE, wherever YOU ARE!
Sorry I haven't posted..I have had some minor chaos going on the last few days. To make a long story short.I am trying to decide if I want to move my daughter from her current daycare center. They have kind of been pissing me off lately. They are very expensive (I could have her in private school for what I pay for this shit) and so hubby and I went on a tour of a local daycare and it didn't knock my socks off either. So, as you know..it doesn't take much to make me have a nervous breakdown. Making this decision has just about put me in the hospital.
My daughters 2 year check up was on Friday. As most of you know, she was born 6 weeks early at a pissy ass 3 pounds and 4 ounces and was in the hospital for 21 days before we could take her home. Well we have always had trouble with her gaining weight, eating good etc. 1 year ago she weighed 22 pounds at her 1 year check up. On Friday she still weighed 22 pounds. 22 pounds for a 2 year old is basically UNHEARD of. She is in the 3rd percentile on weight which TOTALLY SUCKS ASSHOLES. So, of course I was freaking the fuck out about this even though the Dr. said it is not to be concerned. He wants us to put her on Pediasure, 2 cans a day for the next 6 months and bring her back at the end of that 6 months. Her height is in the 50th percentile and so is her head circ. so that is cool. She is just 1 lil' bitty shitass. He said that she probably wont' gain much weight this year anyways, most 2 years olds don't b/c they are so busy. I am just so sick of worrying about this shit. I know that I should be thankful that it is something as petty as this. I know that, but I worry about it constantly. I can't help it. She is my baby and I want to make sure she is getting everything she fucking needs and when she isn't gaining weight I feel like a fucking failure as a mother. I mean, what kind of mother cannot make their child gain 1 fucking pound in a fucking YEAR!
Anyways, so then..
since hubby was going to be gone all weekend I was going to mow the grass for him and be nice. So I hop my big ass on the big expensive Cub Cadet and start mowing this ENOURMOUS fucking yard that we have. I am almost finished (3 hours later) and WTF..I run out of gas..of course. So I go to the shed to get more gas and GUESS what, the gas can is EMPTY. So, I see this other little red gas can sitting there and it is full so...I take it and start pouring it in to the nice EXPENSIVE lawnmower when all the sudden I notice that this doesn't look like gas at all, this looks like whiskey or some shit. So, I frantically call my husband who is in the middle of some important shit and he can't talk and is FURIOUS with me because this substance I have just poured into the love of his life is WEEDEATER GAS! How was I suppose to fucking know, it said GAS on the thingy!
So he tells me
WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT START THE MOWER, TAKE THE KEY OUT OF IT and GO IN THE FUCKING HOUSE AND I WILL CALL YOU IN A WHILE.
So, I just knew I had ruined the motherfucker. I am crying hysterically, called my Dad (AKA-Gran Sissy) told him the situation and he has no clue what to do but does know some guy that owns a lawnmower shop and calls him and the guy tells him that I should go get clean gas and put it in the lawnmower and start it and it should be fine. SOOOO, I go and get the clean gas and try to call my hubby back because I don't want to do this without his permission and totally fuck it up. So, I try to call hubby..NO ANSWER.
He finally calls me back 2 HOURS later and by this point it is too late b/c it is dark outside and I can't see down this ACRE and a half fucking yard to get to the lawnmower much less pour gas in it and push all the buttons and shit to start it.
So of course today when he got home he goes down to see if I have totally blown it up and what happens..
IT STARTS RIGHT UP AND IS FUCKING FINE, RUNS LIKE IT WAS BRAND FUCKING NEW.
If you could have only heard me crying..you would really have felt sorry for my hillbilly ass.
7 Comments:
-
The Merry Widow commented at 10:29 PM~
I'm glad all turned out ok!!! Hang in there Pissy! Your cute little pissy will be just fine. And remember, not too long before your vacay to Cali!!!
-
Renee commented at 7:53 AM~
Oh God girl! Never mow the fucknig yard again!!lol
As for your peanut, my niece was a 6 wek premie and she was timy at 2 years old too. Hell she's 3 now and still tiny. Perfectly healthy though. :-)-
Random and Odd commented at 12:10 PM~
You are such a stud. Your moming skills and your lawn mowing skills.
I am not worthy.-
Lori commented at 12:28 PM~
Don't worry about the weight thing. My 7 yo gained 3 lbs last year. He's up to a walloping 45 now. Just keeps stretching. Just like his dad.
And you rock for even trying to mow the lawn. An acre and a half - yowza!-
Charlotte in Pa commented at 12:34 PM~
Hi, Pissy! Deep breaths. Deeeep breaths. Remember that this advice is coming from a professional nanny... I know she's small - she'll thank you for that when she's older and doesn't have a weight issue. Our friends adopted a boy from Russia and he weights 41 lbs at 7 years old. Sometimes kids can't gain the weight. She's obviously a counting-to-fucking-ten-at-barely-two-years genius, so there's no brain development problem. You rock. You're a fabulous mother. She is going to continue to grow and will be a beautiful, intelligent little girl. You know - she'll take after her mother. :-)
-
SouthernChickie commented at 12:57 PM~
So keep telling yourself that you're rasing a future supermodel...
One day, you'll look at her fat ass caving in the side of your couch, munching on Cheetos, watching MTV, and you'll long for these days...-
Mama Duck commented at 2:05 PM~
I'm constantly fucking things up around the house.
Sugar Daddy pretty much asked me to stop helping after I took out his floormats by unscrewing the one-time-only custom screw and stripping the threads.
Screw.
Want to Post a Comment?