MRS. PISSY BRITCHES

Monday, February 20, 2006

WARNING..RANTING ABOUT FAT GIRLS/CHUBBY WHUBBYS and Camel Toe

Ok.
I can talk about this shit b/c I ain't seen a below a size 10 in exactly 10 years.
I was just over at Shangies blog and as she was talking about ass crack and I was talking about camel toe I was reminded of an unpleasant picture that I tried like a motherfucker to forget last week..
Figured I might as well tell ya'll about it too since I just took over the comments section over there telling Shangie about it.
Sorry Shangie!

Anyways, I am a size 16 so don't be sending me emails cussing me out. I know what the fuck I am talking about. I only wear clothes that are size appropriate for me. Meaning you ain't gonna see my chubby ass in a fucking bikini..nor a sleeveless shirt, nor a pair of thongs, notta, nope..can't do it. If you chubby girls want to do it fucking fine with me..but if you go out in public with certain shit on..please expect to be made fun of..seriously fucking bad.

Last week when hubby took me out for Valentines Day I wanted to go to the Olive Garden. Nothing too fancy right?..good food though. Well we waited about 1 1/2 for a table and when we finally sat down to our nice romatic fucking evening...well picture these fucktards...

Table in front of us.

Redneck boy with his rebel flag cap and very, very fat chick...NOW, there ain't nothing wrong with being fat...it is how you present your fat ass when you are fat that concerns me.
I ain't saying you gotta cover your shit all up and be all Granny Bertha...but what is appropriate and what isn't..you should know this..I am a chubby girl..I know this. Ok..on with the motherfucking story.

Ok..you know those cute lil' cami's that you see everywhere that just have the lil' spaghetti straps and lace around the top or whatever..super cute but for a fat chick/chubby whubby you need to put your honkey ass on a little pullover cardigan sweater or some shit. So do you think this chick did that? Oh hell no...It was a cold ass 20 degrees outside and chick has on her lil' fancy smancy top..it even has a little cute tie around the waste that ties in the back..only fucking thing about that cute lil' strap is that you can't see the motherfucking tie because it is hid in a fat roll somewhere. I ain't fucking lying about that either. Fat rolls upon fat rolls upon fat rolls. Fat rolls and fettuchini do not go well together...So chubby whubby is sitting right in front of me, unfortunately with her back facing me so I got to see fat roll after fat roll..I am not talking about front side fat rolls either..I am talking about the back fat rolls. Oh yeh, ya'll know exactly what the fuck I mean. Back fucking fat buttery rolls. Bitch did not have on anything to cover that shit up. I mean she had like 3 fat rolls between the back of her arm pit to where the top ended..the top was being pushed down..by the fat rolls. You cannot fucking tell me that the bitch did not notice this before she got herself all ready to go out.

I just don't get it. She seriously thought she was the shit..and that is ok..but that is not what I wanted to look at on my Valentines Day. I am all for being sexy or whatever you want to do..but damn bitch...I am trying to eat.

One day soon I might actually move into this century and get a phone with a camera on it. When I do..OH WHEN I DO this blog might actually be funny.

BTW..I have this Aunt of mine that always has fucking camel toe. She is pretty skanky obviously. It is the grossest shit ever. I do not heart camel toe either. It is almost like you have been touched/hammered whatever.. in your giny so much that it has just pushed all your VAG up in your body and left the lips behind...ladies..the lips are sad when they are left to hang all alone. This is not cool for the VAG.
Was that a nice picture for you?

Loves and Hugs HOOOKA'S
Chubby Whubby Pissy

link | posted by Pissy Britches at Monday, February 20, 2006

34 Comments:

dashababy commented at 9:09 PM~: ROFLMAO,
That is some funny shit there gurl.
OH MY GOODNESS. You are one mean ass bitch when you wanna be. I love it.
I have seen this person runnin' around in all their glory. I can't decide if it's ignorance or confidence that can allow someone to dress like that. Yeah, I know what you mean. One time we were out at nightclub and the girl had on this strappy shirt, she looked like a pork roast all trussed up.
Cin commented at 9:27 PM~: That was fucking hilarious! I needed a good laugh tonight.
Kami commented at 9:33 PM~: Camel toe is NEVER okay. NEVER.
Renee commented at 10:27 PM~: I just sat here and tried to read this post to my hubby. OF course I couldn't catch my breath from laughing so hard and the tears in my eyes made it hard to read. He was just looking at me like I was nuts. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time and I sure as hell needed it! Pissy, you FUCKING ROCK!!!
Tina commented at 5:58 AM~: Number one rule of fat chicks, Yo shirts need to be at least 28 inches long to cover yo belly. No one wants to see that fat ass belly or your fat ass as you waddle by. Number 2 rule of fat chicks, if you hold yo arms out to the sides of yo body, now wave to someone with yo hands, if any of the kids under your arms waves too. Cover you fat ass arms up as well....
Renee commented at 8:40 AM~: I just had to come read this again. It is so funny.

I do not heart camel toe either pissy!
Katy Barzedor commented at 9:17 AM~: "the lips are sad when they are left to hang all alone"

I want this put on my headstone.
Shelli commented at 9:22 AM~: CT is just nasteee and can I tell you your dramatic photo you just plastered across the inside of my skull will be there through lunch.

Preciate-cha. It was very kind of you. Now that I had NO valentines day, you have officially ruined the lunch of Feb 21.

HAB!!!
limpy99 commented at 9:29 AM~: Well, whaddya know, turns out my breakfast wasn't fully digested yet.

And The Olive Garden is in a whole new light for me now.
Tina commented at 9:37 AM~: This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Pissy Britches commented at 9:39 AM~: I am reading this today.
I wish I could say I was drunk when I typed this post but I was totally sober.
I have got to be the stupiest HAB on Earth.
Glad I made ya'll bitches laugh.
Bucky, if you get that on your stone that would be such an honor.
HAAAAA.
And my friend Addison..she loves to call the fat rolls under the arms "KIDS"...HAAAAA. That is so funny.
pack of 2 commented at 10:59 AM~: Don't worry about taking over our comment section girl....you fucking crack us up. You paint a really good picture with your story telling. Who needs a camera when you've got Pissy?

Angie
Kate Giovinco Photography commented at 11:40 AM~: That was hysterical and being a woman of size myself I completely understand where you are coming from.

Camel Toe is NASTY!
Anonymous commented at 12:30 PM~: Wow...back fat. rolls and rolls of it, and she was proud of it. I guess she's got a lot more self-esteem than I do!

fuck that - my self-esteem says COVER THE BACK FAT FOR THE SAKE OF THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU!

As for your wearing a size 16, Pissy, apparently you know exactly what to wear to compliment your body because I wouldn't have guessed your size at all. A little trivia: Marilyn Monroe wore a size 16, and she didn't even have a blog, so you are obviously the HAB for the 20th AND the 21st centuries with cold chill steelo, yo!

And Marilyn Monroe didn't say fuck nearly enough....just one more reason I heart Pissy!
Anonymous commented at 12:33 PM~: oh, and camel toe is so gross...there is absolutely no reason for it - don't even need a full-length mirror to see one's own camel toe, and then one must immediately change pants and toss those camel toe pants in the Goodwill pile!

Or maybe the trash...I mean, if the pants made me have camel toe, I just don't want to think that some other woman might wear them and have camel toe and not care.

EWWWWWWWW!
pack of 2 commented at 1:10 PM~: I laughed my ass off reading all your Pissyisms!

I can't decide which one was my favorite from this list...

1. well picture these fucktards...

2. super cute but for a fat chick/chubby whubby you need to put your honkey ass on a little pullover cardigan sweater or some shit.

3.Fat rolls and fettuchini do not go well together...

4.Back fucking fat buttery rolls

5.You cannot fucking tell me that the bitch did not notice this before she got herself all ready to go out.

6. I am all for being sexy or whatever you want to do..but damn bitch...I am trying to eat.

7. ...ladies..the lips are sad when they are left to hang all alone.

OH PISSY! WILL YOU MARRY US?
LMAO!

Shangie

(how's that for taking up the comment section;)
Margaret commented at 4:45 PM~: O M G

too fucking funny...

peace...
Anonymous commented at 5:26 PM~: Big girls should not wear spaghetti strap anythings...I can say that cause I'm a big girl.

Won't ever catch my ass in anything like that...ever.

Sad thing is-the chucklehead who was with her probably thought she looked good and was prayin' after he stuffed her face full of pasta he was gonna get him a lil.
But I will say this....if honey took me out and got me some of that raspberry cheesecake they got? Ha! I woulda wore a spaghetti strap top too. ahahaha!
Katy Barzedor commented at 8:45 PM~: For myself, I hope no one will ever be forced to think of a spitting dromedary's hoof whilst gazing upon my crotch.

Amen.
Chickie commented at 9:06 AM~: I'm dying laughing here! I do not heart camel toe either. If someone has that going on I usually am unable to look at anything else until they walk by. Kinda like being drawn to a train wreck.
hemlock commented at 2:22 PM~: Oh Jesus.

You had me dying with the whole cameltoe description.

Oh my stomach.
Christi Lee commented at 1:34 AM~: bad ass rant. i hate rolls. I own some of my own but don't care to share.
Lori commented at 1:29 PM~: Oh shit, I seriously have laugh-tears running down my face. As a chubby wubby too, I would avoid at all costs that type of top. Toooo funny.
Michele in Michigan commented at 4:56 PM~: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Pud commented at 7:48 PM~: I laughed so hard my stomach now hurts. I love your brutally honestness. You kick ass!
Firestarter5 commented at 9:20 PM~: I believe I may be scarred for life.
Kathryn commented at 9:52 AM~: I can't believe I didn't comment on this yet.

I was lmao at Bucky. She cracks my shit up as much as you do.

Pissy, you are my HAB!
Monogram Queen commented at 12:08 PM~: Hi Pissy i've saw you on RSG, Kami & Shangie's blogs and finally ventured over. OMG you have me breathless laughing about your Valentines Day fat-venture. Girl you are vicious and I love it!
Elizabeth commented at 8:14 PM~: I call the husband's ex Camel Toe Annie. Nuff said.
Random and Odd commented at 3:08 AM~: Fat rolls and fettuchini do not go well together...

This line had me shoot coffee out my nose. WHY am I drinking coffee at 1 am, I don't know.

GUESS WHO'S BACK?!! Pissy is!!

This post does your name proud.

I love you so much!
Random and Odd commented at 3:08 AM~: P.S. Skinny chicks: Please shove your damn thongs BACK IN YOUR PANTS!
I swear if I see one more thong and back tattoo i'm going to hurl.
Steph commented at 3:26 PM~: Ok I had to post on this one- I've lurked here a few times...I HAVENT LOL so hard in a LONG TIME !! THANKS ! Being a girl of size...or as my sweetheart of a hubs says- "a real woman , not a skinny looking model chick" I heart him so much ! You are one funny chick ! Thanks for the laugh !
Pissy Britches commented at 4:36 PM~: Thanks Steph.
Would that be short for Stephanie???
That is my name IRL.
Carole commented at 9:29 PM~: I've been reading you for quite awhile now, and just had to comment on this one! Girl, you had me in stitches. Keep 'em comin'! :)

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