MRS. PISSY BRITCHES

Monday, May 08, 2006

Pork "N" Beans & More

I dont have any idea what I want to talk about. I just know I need to type something stupid and reflicted (love that word Tina)

Can someone tell me why and the fuck I decided to buy a mini van. Was I fucking smoking crack or something? All I have done since day 1 that I bought it is bitch and bitch some more that I am driving this thing and of course since I have so many miles on it b/c of how far I drive to work everyday I can't trade it in until it is paid for. I am a nimrod. I want a Mercedes. I can't help it. WTF is wrong with me. I will have a Mercedes someday. I WILL.

Can someone tell me why it is hard to stay motivated when the boss that you have had for the last 4 years moves away and even though he is still your boss you don't feel like staying awake long enough to answer the fucking phone and sell some shit even though your Target fund depends on it.

Can someone tell me why and the fuck I have been blessed with such great friends IRL and ya'll bitches. I just love ya'll.

Can someone tell me why I never stop wanting things? New things, nice things, things, things, fucking things. Mr. Pissy wants for nothing. He could care less if we sat on lawn chairs and shit in paper sack. Why do I feel that "things" make me happier. They do for a little while but after that, it is just on to the next new thing that I want. But I can't stop. I love fucking THINGS. All kinds of things.

Can you also fucking tell me why the fuck it cost 40 bucks to fill up my car today? I know, shut up already but FUCKING A.

Can someone tell me why I have the bestest step son in the whole WORLD. While we were gone this weekend to the festivites (I will talk about this later) Spencer did all my landscaping for the front yard and it looks fabulous. I would tell you what it is but I have no fucking idea. Green thumb, ugh no..notta..never.

Can someone fucking tell me they are as happy as I am that this little sissy boy on Deal or No Deal won him some 350 grand. You go lil sissy boy. WOO HOO.

Can someone tell me why and the fuck certain people think the whole fucking world revolves around them and what their schedule is. I always take you into consideration so shut your fucking hole and think about someone else's life and time for once. Fuck.

Can someone tell me why the administrator/owner at McKenna's daycare is a cunt head. They decided to raise rates 3 months early this year. (It is usually every August)..So now I pay $1.40 more per DAY. Yeh, that only puts it at like a fucking trillion dollars a month. Shit. If I wasn't paying so much for that it would just be my Mercedes. If it ain't one thing..it is another.

Can someone tell me why I love The Sopranos so much that I almost think it is real. When the story broke last week about James Gandolfini crashing his scooter in NYC and he got pissed off when some woman yelled out "TONY, ARE YOU OK".. I want him to be Tony. Why doesn't he want to be?

Can someone tell me why Mr. Pissy thinks I keep an exact memory of groceries and what is left. I love him but God, I can't remember what I did 4 seconds ago much less how many cans of pork n beans we have in the cabinet.
Him: "Do we have any pork n beans"
Me: "I don't know that"
Him: "You don't know if we have any pork n beans? How could you not know"
Me: "Last time I checked I don't mark off each can from a master grocery list that I keep in my fucking head"

Deep thoughts..by Jack Handy. Remember that skit on SNL. That is what I feel like this blog is. Random fucking retardedness. Is that a word? Retardedness? I like that word.

Good night..sleep tight..don't let the cooter crabs bite. :)

link | posted by Pissy Britches at Monday, May 08, 2006

18 Comments:

Kathryn commented at 10:39 PM~: First bitches!
Kathryn commented at 10:39 PM~: Pissy, you crack my shit up. I heart you so fucking much you HAB!
Kate Giovinco Photography commented at 10:52 PM~: You are a riot!
pack of 2 commented at 1:14 AM~: Girl...you have you a BUNCH of questions...LOL!

I love the way you think...hahaha!!!

We were also happy for the queen that one 350 grand;)

Shangie
Summer commented at 5:42 AM~: I don't know where to start. So I won't. Ha!
Monogram Queen commented at 12:26 PM~: You crack me up Pissy! I hope I never have to put Madison in Daycare I think I would bust a blood vessel judging by some of the reflicted shit you put up with!
limpy99 commented at 12:49 PM~: I have to say, I was glad that the Richard Simmons Jr. doll won big. He was too fucking funny, and obviously too worked up as the cash got bigger and bigger. No one on that show seems to understand odds, and more importantly, that no matter what happens they're probably going to get a chunk of money just for pikcing out luggage.
Elizabeth commented at 1:05 PM~: You be funny lady.

I am afflicted with the wanting of things too. I try to be all content and shit and it does not work, so fuck it. If the hubs drops dead of a heart attack seeing to my needs, oh well.

You know I am joking right? Well, just about the heart attack. I think I get more money if he drops dead at work.
Kami commented at 1:36 PM~: Love it.

I want a Mercedes one day, too. But, I love my Odyssey. I don't know why, but I do.
lawbrat commented at 3:54 PM~: OMG the GROCERIES!! LOOK! I have to look, and go to the store, and bring them home, and put them away. I'm not trying to remember the details of such a mundane task. No way. Just look- like everyone else.

Thank you.
ToadyJoe commented at 4:05 PM~: Oh, Pissy! Look on the bright side, soon you will be out of the agonizing 20s and move on into the Roaring 30's and look out world. Not that you'll have all your shit figured out by then (lord knows I don't and fuck I'm almost out of the 30s) but you'll more than likely stop giving a shit about things... or at least so much of a shit. That's how I was, anyway. I used to care, but now I'm all "fuck it, life goes on, whatever". Most times, anyway. ;)
Tina commented at 7:42 PM~: Hey, banghead and I want to know, what things do you like to fuck? Cause you like fucking things, all types of things. Cause we was thinking about having fucking things party and we wanted to invite your disgruntled ass.
Deodand commented at 7:49 PM~: I don't know you, but you made me think about shitting in a sack, so I like you. That is all.
Charlotte in Pa commented at 8:46 AM~: Umm...uhhh... did she just say "cooter crabs"?? Yeah, I thought so. I need a dictionary that translates my thoughts to Pissy language. Then when I'm ticked off, I could find JUST the right word or phrase to describe how I feel. Although "fuck" or one of its variants usually works just fine.
Pissy Britches commented at 9:25 PM~: Ahh...this is why I heart ya'll bitches.
Ya'll are as fucked in the head as me.
Firestarter5 commented at 6:41 PM~: Cunt Head!!

That'll get ya some page hits!
Dirty Little Secret........... commented at 8:02 AM~: Pissy you are too fuckin' funny!! Thanks for the giggles!
Dirty Little Secret........... commented at 8:03 AM~: Pissy you are so fucking funny!

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