Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Fuck a bunch of 6-6-2006
Holy mother of GAWD.Picture THIS (part 2)
I swear I am not making this shit up.
-Pissy has good day at work today. In good mood and EVERYTHING.
-On the way home call Mr. Pissy b/c we will be home in 20 min. and I wanna go eat some food somewhere yummy. This is my 30th birthday MONTH and I am milking that shit for all it's worth.
-Not 2 seconds after hanging up phone with Mr. Pissy, I blow my nose b/c this is Tennessee and can I just say that allergies can fucking kill you around here. Misery. Anyways, nose full of boogers gone.
-On the interstate in construction zone..no shoulder on interstate....look up and see both lanes of traffice STOPPED...going a slow 45 miles an hour but no time to stop.
-Make decision. Ram truck in front of me going 45 MPH and have airbag go off in my face and have black eyes OR bust a move and jerk the steering wheel to the shoulder of the road.
-HMMMMM...yeh, I will take my chances by running off the fucking road.
-Run off road, down big ass motherfucking hill going 45 MPH into a HUGE what used to be a whole lotta woods but has recently been all chopped the fuck up to add new exit ramp.
-Cars up on the interstate are stopped and staring at me like a fucking FREAK.
-Sit there for about 10 seconds b/c I can't believe this shit is happening. All I wanted was CHINESE for dinner.
-Fuck.
-Compose myself. McKenna is fine..I am fine..floor the gas petal and go back up on the interstate thinking everything is fine..yeh, I am one cool bitch.
-Fellow drivers watch me pull back into traffic on interstate.
-Hear really, really loud noise coming from back of van.
-Fuck, either I have a flat tire or the whole underneath of my car is dragging the pavement which is a good possibility seein's how I just ran into a bunch of fucking tree trunks and shit.
-Call Mr. Pissy and tell him that I just ran off the road..and he says "What do you mean you ran off the road" and I say "I don't think you understand..not like ran off the road a little bit..ran off the road a whole fucking lot"
-Ask Mr. Pissy what I should do..should I pull over? There is no shoulder to pull over on. Continue to drive to my exit (less than a mile) to the gas station and then pull over.
-Mr. Pissy says gun it to gas station. Now THAT was the longest minute of my life. I ain't ever heard some funky noises like that come from a car.
-Make it to gas station, get out of van.
-See nothing other than 1 tire that is ripped to fucking shreds. Literally ripped to shreds. Not like flat..like I took a knife and slashed that bitches tires for fucking my boyfriend.
-2 strangers pull up behind me..saw the whole thing. Offer to change my tire. Awww..that is southern hospitality.
-Mr. Pissy comes and changes tire for me.
-Must go get new tire.
-Whew! You would think that is enough right?
NO.
-Not 10 seconds after Mr. Pissy changed tire for me my step son calls him and says he has had a really bad accident on his bike at the skate park and he thinks he broke something.
-Fuck, are you kidding me. Fuck off SATAN. This is not your DAY...fucker.
-Mr. Pissy spends rest of evening at the Emergency Room.
-It is 9 pm and they just left the Emergency Room.
***Nothing is broken and things should heal on their own.***
WE ARE STILL ALIVE AND KICKING BITCHES.
It's all good. Everyone survived and we are all ok.
I know that is what matters but that doesn't mean I can't bitch about it.
If this is what my 30th birthday month is going to like then I am going to sleep until July.
19 Comments:
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Margaret commented at 9:17 PM~
umm...
happy birthday month to you?
hugs...so glad that everyone is ok... :)
peace...-
Deodand commented at 9:18 PM~
Daaaang!
But now you know - you can't keep a good Pissy Britches down.-
Elizabeth commented at 10:17 PM~
Please tell me that at some point you got your damn Chinese food?
That's me - I'm all about the food.-
Kami commented at 10:52 PM~
HOLY SHIT!!!!
You made a good choice running off the road, sister. OMG!-
Summer commented at 5:56 AM~
That was some excellent quick thinking! Happy Birthday Month!
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Pud commented at 6:58 AM~
OMG!! Glad everything worked out okay.
Happy Birthday month to you!-
Monogram Queen commented at 7:20 AM~
Pissy I bow down to you, girl you are the shizznit! I am so glad you & McKenna were okay, that had to be mucho scary and i'm glad Spencer is okay too. Poor Mr. Pissy - emergency rooms suck! Ah well 6-6-06 is over and the world didn't end!
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Kate Giovinco Photography commented at 8:04 AM~
Happy birthday month!
I am glad everyone is ok!
Did ya ever get your chinese?-
Renee commented at 8:15 AM~
Well Muther Fucker! I totally think you should call off work today and have chinese DELIVERED!!!lol Glad you are ok though girl!! XOXO
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Kathryn commented at 9:28 AM~
Oh. My. God.
That's all.
No seriously. I'm glad you're better girl. I think you need to come out here for a birthday visit. I'll hold your hand in Target and I'll drive you places.
Love you HAB!-
Pissy Britches commented at 9:36 AM~
Thanks homies. I heart you bitches.
NO, I DIDN'T GET MY CHINESE FOOD.
I got a bowl of cereal.
Fuck.-
Shelli commented at 11:06 AM~
Christalmighty, I'm glad you are ALL okie dokie.
I'd still rather fall on my face in the tampon isle.-
commented at 8:03 PM~
holy crap Pissy!
Glad you guys are all ok....
Was McKenna awake when you were baha'ing all over the interstate?-
Pissy Britches commented at 8:31 PM~
Yeh, she was awake and she says to me right after it happened..
"Momma wreck in the bushes"
"Momma scare me"
Great huh.-
pack of 2 commented at 9:26 PM~
holy shit girl...We are glad that you are ok.
when is your bday? Ang's is 27th.
S-
Pissy Britches commented at 8:21 AM~
Shangie-6-19
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Kate Michele commented at 9:44 AM~
LOL... I know it was scary, but you tell it so great I couldn't help but giggle!! I really like your blog!!
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Chickie commented at 8:14 AM~
Damn. August is my birthday month. Maybe I'll try to sleep through it.
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commented at 5:17 PM~
dang! that all fucking sucked!
did you ever get your chinese food?
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