MRS. PISSY BRITCHES

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Here's a little story about a whore named Dee

So, today as I am playing Betty Crocker in the kitchen getting ready for my Daddy and Bobby to come have their regular visitation with the kid I hear a car pull in the driveway. Thinking it was them I call McKenna to the door to greet them.

So imagine my suprise when I walk to the front of the house and peek out the blinds and who do I see.
Well, of course a crack whore with hickies named Dee. (hee hee, that rhymed)

Evidentally the bitch thought it would be a good idea to pull up in my driveway and come to the door where MY child and I are standing, that's right bitches..this is MY fucking driveway now..I don't care if it was hers first..it is MINE now.
Anyways, I know you may say.."Pissy, why are you suprised that whore showed up at your house"
Well bitches..the reason I am suprised is b/c well...SHE HAS NEVER DONE IT BEFORE..not in the 4 years we have lived here has she showed up 1 fucking time.
I have had nightmares about her showing up in a crack rage and killing all of us but no today she calmly walked up the sidewalk and as I told Mr. Pissy he best get off his ass and answer the door and that it was her.
He seriously looked at me like I was the one on crack b/c he was so shocked. Keep in mind he has not spoken with this woman that he was married to for 10 years and had 2 kids with in ohhh..lets see..at least 5 years ago when we were in court taking her kids and her house away. Yeh, if that ain't reason to burn us all alive tell me what is.

So her little friend is driving some piece of shit Lexus that is not fabulous in the least. This is like a trailer park Lexus if there was such a thing.
Her toothless ass comes rollin up the sidewalk in her hooker clothes. Also Mr. Pissy said she has at least 6 or 7 huge fucking hickies on her neck. That sets a nice example for your teenage daughter now doesn't it? Look at me I am a crack whore with hickies...Word.

So anyways, Mr. Pissy opens the door and she says the following
"Ugh, so..do you think I could see the kids in the next few weeks?"
Mr Pissy says "No"
"Well, why not?"
(why not, oh bitch don't even get me started as to why the fuck not")
Mr Pissy says "because it would not be good for them to see you"
"Oh, ok"
(well that didn't take much convincing did it?)
She then turns and walks away.

That is that.

I know it sounds painless but you have no idea how much I wanted to drop kick that bitch into next week. She thinks she should be allowed to trot her fat ass up in my driveway and act like it is time for her weekly visitation? Ugh, no..I don't fucking think so sister.

I should have invited her in and showed her how I totally fixed up her place and made it all new and pretty again after her crack head ass detroyed it. Wonder how she would have liked the new carpet and hardwood floors and all the pretty new paint and fixtures that we bought b/c she let the septic tank overflow into the house at least 3 times b/c she would rather buy drugs than have someone come pump the septic tank or call a plumber.
Yeh, you have no idea. You go into the worst neighborhood in your town and pick the house that is the absolute shittiest thing you have ever seen and that was this house when we got it back. Not pretty. And we fixed it all back with our bare hands.
She probably wouldn't have enjoyed the tour, yah think?

Happy Sunday bitches.

(I am hoping that most of you know who Dee is by this point, if you don't I am going to be very fucking sad but she is my husbands ex wife who sucks bigger dick than Perez Hilton)

link | posted by Pissy Britches at Sunday, February 04, 2007

33 Comments:

pack of 2 commented at 11:03 PM~: OH SHit...that sucks.

I am glad that she didn't try to argue with your hubs at least!

I'll bet she wishes she had that house to trash all over again...I hear crack whores like to do that:)

Hugs to you Pissy!

Shelly
Elizabeth commented at 11:15 PM~: As I said in the email, ho. lee. shit.

You gots you some control girl. I'd have kicked her ass down the driveway.
Summer commented at 5:38 AM~: First I wonder shy she did that to begin with and then I wonder why she didn't argue with Mr. P. Interesting.

But I want to say this to you, I think you are one hell of a woman. I really admire you.
Pissy Britches commented at 8:29 AM~: The reason she didn't argue was probably b/c my 3 year old child was standing at the door watching her.
I know that is why.
And if she would have I would have been out rolling a bitch in the yard beating her ass down.
Unknown commented at 8:34 AM~: So you don't care for Dee, huh?
Pissy Britches commented at 8:50 AM~: TKW-Ya think?
Charlotte in Pa commented at 9:14 AM~: My favorite part? "Look at me I am a crack whore with hickies...Word."

It was the "Word." that got me. How you take fucked up situations and make them so hilarious is beyond me. It's a gift, woman!
Anonymous commented at 9:20 AM~: damn
sorry that happened
Kami commented at 9:57 AM~: I can't believe she just fucking showed up there! WTF?

Wow. You guys handled it well. I'm glad the big kids didn't see her.

WHO SHOWS HICKIES?
Jen commented at 10:24 AM~: Grown ass woman with visible hickies ... eww. *shudder*
Kathryn commented at 12:35 PM~: OH. MY. GOD.

That is priceless.

I hope the kids didn't see her.
Teri commented at 12:55 PM~: you are the funniest woman on the planet.

my condolences.
Kate Giovinco Photography commented at 1:04 PM~: oh my goodness I can not believe she showed up. Thank goodness McKenna did not open the door! That would have given her nightmares for years!
Anonymous commented at 4:27 PM~: WOW.

Did your step daughter see her? She would have been a good visual example of why she needs to get her butt in gear and start going to school, etc. Of course viewing from the window as she's walking away would be the key.

Did your dad come by?
CuteBeachGirl commented at 7:31 PM~: You got to shitting me! No, crack ass didn't walk up on your house....wtf?
Michele in Michigan commented at 8:40 PM~: I LOVES me some Pissy! I haven't been able to comment anywhere so I hope this works!
Chickie commented at 9:37 PM~: Holy shit, Batman. If I'd have been you, I'd have had a fury related stroke when she came up the sidewalk!
Chickie commented at 9:37 PM~: Holy shit, Batman. If I'd have been you, I'd have had a fury related stroke when she came up the sidewalk!
Pat commented at 8:30 AM~: Let me see...

Grown woman, visible hickies, half-heartedly asking to see her offspring, no argument when request is refused...

Sounds like someone who needs her ass kicked just on general principles.

But that's just me...
Arlene commented at 3:15 PM~: Yeah, by about mid-post, I was pretty clear on who the Whore is :-)

She has NERVE! It's the drugs!! Drugs make you 10ft tall and bullet proof, and you lose that thing that would make you NOT do stupid shit, like show up on your ex's door step!!
Pissy Britches commented at 3:35 PM~: No the kids did not see her.
Ashtin wasn't home and Spencer never knew she came.
Not that he would have cared.

Hugs not Drugs
Firestarter5 commented at 9:33 PM~: Is she one of those hillbillies?
Pissy Britches commented at 8:44 AM~: Firestarter-LMA.
;)
Shelli commented at 3:06 PM~: Bah! What an ass!

Pathetic.

Ida given her a big fat piece of my mind, for sure. Don't know how you held your composure!
Pissy Britches commented at 4:12 PM~: I went to the kitchen.
I didn't have to hold my composure..there was nothing for me to discuss with her. She is the one that is going to have to answer to her kids someday otherwise I don't have shit to say to her. I knew Monty could handle her.
Anonymous commented at 5:28 AM~: It's always nice to spend some quality relaxing week-end time with "family", isn't it?
Finelly commented at 12:34 PM~: Ho. Lee.
That's some weird shit. I'm going to come by the house to see my kid(s). But when I'm told no, I won't argue. Something awfully fishy about that. She wanted something else I'm sure.
Hickies? Seriously? That's nice. Guess it comes with the territory.
limpy99 commented at 5:04 PM~: "she is my husbands ex wife who sucks bigger dick than Perez Hilton"

Well, uh, this is awkward, uh, you um wouldn't happen to have her, uh number would you?
Pissy Britches commented at 11:20 AM~: Limpy-I don't think crack whores have numbers.
But their pimps do.
Dirty Little Secret........... commented at 8:41 PM~: OMG she needs a kick in the head! Showig up like that out of the blue? What if Mr. Pissy wasn't home? That really sucks. Missed you Pissy :o)
Kami commented at 9:33 AM~: Hi. This be Dee. Can I see my kidz for vday? No. k.
Pissy Britches commented at 9:49 AM~: Kami-HelltothaNO.
Hooker.
:)
Monogram Queen commented at 9:07 PM~: Wow that could have been ug-lay and Pissy my $ was totally on YOU had she attempted to act the fool in front of Mckenna.

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